Attorney General Jeff Sessions just wrapped up his testimony before the Senate intelligence committee where he said "I don't recall," a whole bunch (auto-tune of this phrase coming soon!), and called allegations of collusion with Russia during the Trump campaign "a detestable lie." Twitter is fired up about it. Here are some highlights. Keebler elf and Southern good 'ol boy jokes ahead:
Sources: Jeff Sessions will open his Senate intelligence committee testimony with a rhyming song, accompanied by pan flute
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) June 13, 2017
I'm listening to the Sessions testimony in my car, so I have a question: if he fanning himself?
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) June 13, 2017
when you have to testify why the cookies only have a single stripe instead of a double stripe #SessionsHearingpic.twitter.com/KXuIoOiATz
— shauna (@goldengateblond) June 13, 2017
The Great Ear Swap: Round Two #SessionsHearingpic.twitter.com/274KokpqBU
— Full Frontal (@FullFrontalSamB) June 13, 2017
Sessions' laughter at @KamalaHarris is known as "the patriarchy chuckle."
— Sarah T 🏳️🌈 (@SarahThyre) June 13, 2017
Not loving this Muppet Show reboot. #SessionsHearingpic.twitter.com/1GgLveCLi8
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) June 13, 2017
If I was casting a racist for a movie and #JeffSessions walked in, I'd dismiss him for being too on the nose.
— Travon Free (@Travon) June 13, 2017
It's weird that bugs don't come tumbling out of Jeff Sessions' mouth every time he opens it.
— King Pleasure (@IanKarmel) June 13, 2017
Every pothead Jeff Sessions wants to throw in jail has a better memory than Jeff Sessions
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) June 13, 2017
Harris: "Is that policy written somewhere?"
The top law enforcement officer of the United States of America: "I... I think so"
— Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) June 13, 2017
wow, the #SessionsHearing is really eloquent so far pic.twitter.com/4J9r2u3ojm
— drewtoothpaste (@drewtoothpaste) June 13, 2017
Maybe all we need to do is trick @realDonaldTrump into giving Jeff Sessions a sock, and then he'll be free/go away!
— BadHombreLands NPS (@BadHombreNPS) June 13, 2017
pic.twitter.com/4kE0JCWcYJ
— heath (@heathdwilliams) June 13, 2017